


Let Me Hold You

by BloodMoonWitch



Series: Black is the Color [6]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: ASMR, But I made him sad I’m so sorry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I fixed it though!, I know I tagged graphic depictions of violence but its not that bad, M/M, Other, Past Violence, its just the one paragraph about a nightmare, so nothing bad really happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 17:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20139022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodMoonWitch/pseuds/BloodMoonWitch
Summary: Muriel has trouble falling asleep, so you show him some good and wholesome ASMR(I didnt mean for this one to be so sad in the beginning it just kinda happened but it gets cute and sweet I promise)





	Let Me Hold You

**Author's Note:**

> So I know ASMR can have kinda a weird rep with all those YouTube channels out there who severely sexualize it, absolutely no hate to anyone who does watch those kinds of channels, but I personally can’t fall asleep without Karuna Satori or FrivolousFox’s good and wholesome ASMR content. They were a major inspiration for this chapter, and I highly recommend giving their channels a visit. They each have such a wide variety of content that I’m sure anyone could find something that helps and relaxes them there.

Sleep had always been a problem for Muriel. He had been getting better, slowing having less and less graphic nightmares, but every now and then one would come along that had him shaking and crying quietly against my shoulder. It broke my heart to see him hurting, but what hurt the most was seeing him unable to go back to sleep, the fear in his eyes as he couldn’t stop the images of his past from floating around in his head.

For every two steps he took forward, something always seemed to drag him back one. I didn't know for sure, but I had a very high suspicion that Muriel hadn’t slept a wink last night. My heart ached, especially because I hadn’t been there for him like I should have been. I had spent the previous day and night in the shop, helping Asra with a few last minute errands before he and Julian left to go sailing off to who knows where. How they had survived without me, I had no idea. The shop was a complete mess when I got there, and it took almost all night to get everything cleaned up again and help them wrap up a couple of customer orders. The three of us had practically passed out on the floor, and I knew it would be unsafe for me to attempt to walk back to Muriel at that point.

I left first thing in the morning, practically running back home because of the terrible feeling I had in my gut that something was wrong. I came back to find Muriel sitting almost in a daze by a dying fire, Inanna sitting beside him. He either didn't hear me come in or didn’t have the energy to move, but his eyes remained fixated on the embers.

“Muriel?” I called out to him, and he finally looked up at me. The sight of his eyes, heavy with exhaustion and fear, nearly had me in tears. His shoulders were slouched, and he looked like he was trying to hide beneath his cloak, something I hadn’t seen him do in a very long time. I moved slowly, the last thing I wanted to do was startle him, and I put my things down on the floor by his bed and walked over to sit in front of him.

“Are you alright?” It was a foolish question, anyone could see the pain on his face as he tried to forget but couldn’t, but it had become a ritual of ours. I would ask that same question each time he woke up from a nightmare, sometime he would respond with words, but most of the time he just pulled me to him and let me whisper words of comfort and love to him until he fell asleep again. What startled me this time was his complete lack of a response. He just continued to stare at the burning logs, not even acknowledging Inanna as she whined. How long had he been like this?

“Muriel,” I tried again, but I wasn’t even sure if he heard me. I could see the fight going on in his eyes, fighting with himself over something I couldn’t decipher. “Can . . . Can I touch you?” It had been a while since I had had to ask him such a question, but right now, I felt like I was sprinting over cracking ice. He still didn't verbally respond, but I thanked the gods when he nodded so slightly that I almost didn't notice. I decided to take it slow, calming the instinct to just wrap him up and shower him with love, and I carefully placed my hand on his shoulder. I let out a breath when he didn't flinch away like I had been so terrified that he would, then moved my other hand to hover a few inches away from his cheek.

“Is this okay?” Again, he didn’t answer with words, but he did let his head fall into my hand, his eyes closing as he let out a deep, shaky breath. When his eyes met mine again, I looked beyond the tears pooling in them and finally saw him again.

I was pulled into his lap, his arms wrapping tightly around me as he buried his face into my neck. I felt his entire body shake as he cried against me, and I tried desperately to keep my own tears in, knowing that I had to be his stronghold. Letting a tendril of my magic flow out to him, I gently prodded at the edge of his mind, silently asking for him to show me what had caused his pain. He welcomed me eagerly, opening his heart up for me to see into his dreams.

I was flooded by visions of a screaming crowd, blood pouring down his face, someone stabbing him in his shoulder, but most of his focus had been elsewhere. I saw my own body, floating as if suspended by invisible chains, bloodied and bruised and half naked as if whoever had beaten me had ripped the clothes away. I felt Muriel’s guilt clouding every other sense, and I tried my best to replace those terrible thoughts with my own memories.

I showed him the day we had spent by the river last week, calming and loving, the sun shining down on us as Inanna played in the water. I showed him all the mornings we spent lying in bed, neither of us wanting to leave each others arms. I showed him memory after memory of every good thing I could remember, and there were so many. But most importantly, I showed him how much I loved him, how I trusted him with all my soul, and how he could never hurt me. I felt his love slowly overcoming the fear and guilt, coming out to meet mine as we held each other. How I wished to stay like that forever, to never stop showing him how much he meant to me, but I knew that he needed to sleep.

Not wanting to break the comforting silence that had fallen, I whispered to him with my magic, showing images of us napping together and telling the world to leave us be for a while. He seemed to enjoy that idea, and soon I was being lifted up, his arms moving to support me as he walked, his face never leaving its place against my neck. He was so gentle in setting me down, and I pulled him with me until he was holding himself up above me. I brought both of my hands up to hold his face, wiping away the few tears that still clung to his cheeks. He was finally holding my gaze, and the fact that those beautiful green eyes were no longer hiding from me brought a smile to my face.

Unable to resist, I leaned up and kissed him, only intending for it to be quick and gentle, but as I moved to rest my head on the pillow again, he followed me down, reconnecting our lips one more time before I was smiling too much for it to be a proper kiss.

“Try and get some rest, my love,” I said, putting a hand in his hair to guide his head to rest on my chest. He maneuvered himself so that as little of his large body was on top of me as possible, not wanting to crush me, and tried to close his eyes again. I could tell he was struggling, his face scrunching up as he wiggled slightly to try and get more comfortable.

“Can I try something?” I asked, and although he seemed confused by the request, he nodded his head against my chest. Back when I was still putting the pieces of my life back into place, I had had a terrible time trying to fall asleep at night. Asra had showed me a special technique for relaxation he had learned on one of his journeys called autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR. It seemed like magic at first, though Asra promised he hadn’t used any.

I decided to tell Muriel the details some other time, and just started moving my fingers through his hair, soothing away any knots or tangles I found and just gently scratching his scalp. I pressed soft kisses along his forehead and hair, whatever I could reach. That wasn’t something Asra had shown me, but I knew how much Muriel enjoyed the feeling, so I figured it couldn’t hurt. It was when I started whispering a mixture of love and inaudible nonsense, something that had been a favorite of mine, that his sleepy head popped up, half closed eyes looking at me in confusion.

“What?” he mumbled, voice soft and gravely, and I just laughed lightly as I continued to comb my fingers through his hair.

“You’re not supposed to understand what I’m saying, it’s just . . . comforting background noise . . . to help you fall asleep.”

“Oh,” he said, letting his head fall back to my chest as I began again, even leaning up slightly to press back into my kisses. I started whispering again, soft and unintelligible words of affirmation and love into his hair.

“It’s nice . . .” he sleepily muttered, and I smiled against his forehead.

I continued on for a few more minutes, but it didn’t take him long to fall asleep, cute little snores softly rumbling out of him. Eventually, Inanna cautiously jumped up onto the bed and tucked herself against Muriel’s side, licking one of my hands as a sort of thank you for helping her boy find some peace.

I don’t quite remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, Muriel was still fast asleep on top of me. My heart leapt at the peaceful look on his face, and I couldn’t help but press a kiss to his forehead. I could sense that he was calm, no nightmares plaguing his much needed rest. Maybe in little while, I would have to wake him up so that our sleep schedules weren’t completely destroyed, but for now, while the sun was still low in the sky, I didn’t plan on moving an inch.

**Author's Note:**

> The videos I listened to on repeat while writing this because its really nice to just have soothing noises in the background and I’m too easily distracted by song lyrics: 
> 
> FrivolousFox:
> 
> https://youtu.be/oiIYVPyTj9w
> 
> https://youtu.be/Qq1ix0jPqoQ
> 
> https://youtu.be/Y3BSUZnBFq8
> 
> Karuna Satori: 
> 
> https://youtu.be/JoSAv-YDKn8
> 
> https://youtu.be/D0WuYQxdM0M
> 
> https://youtu.be/jSHb-3jfOpo 
> 
> Also, by some deep magic, this is EXACTLY 1700 words and I’ve never been more satisfied in my entire life
> 
> Second also, I may have had a breakthrough in the smut division and there may (that’s a very key word there) be something up later today . . . We shall see . . .


End file.
